Z's Closet of Grabassery: 2006

These guys are real men.

"Once a year, an exclusive group of men travels to a top-secret location somewhere in the wooded mountains of Washington State to compete in an all-day event they call The Outdoorsmen. They battle their way through a series of events that combine physical challenges with high-speed beer chugging."

Its Settled, I'm Going Next Year

To the crowd's delight, two contestants puked, and were therefore disqualified. First, Wing Tutt, aka Elliott Maruffi-Cowley, of Audubon, N.J., who competed topless, vomited on himself. Later Dr. Slob, aka Tim Cusick, of West Chester, expelled his stomach contents into a trash bin.

The Wangcaster

Time to hang out with your wang out.

Childish Yet Addictive

Morning Pac-Man

I meant Crackman.

We Are All Brack People

Keep it real.
Keep on faith.
Keep on going.
Piece!
So Cool.
Respect!

Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug

Friday, February 03, 2006

THIS IS WHERE THE POWER LIES!

This guy was nuts and nobody had any idea. The flexing at the end is priceless.

Friday Metal Madness

"Time to burn you losers better learn
No one controls our goddamn life
We’ll do just what we feel riding horses made of steel
We’re here to burn up the night"

Spoken like a true Manowar

Hijo de puta with Mr. T

The state of the Union is strong!

If You Don't Like Tom Green Or Andy Dick You Won't Like This

Sounds Like Me

Time For A Roadtrip

I don't even know what the f*ck I'm saying. NSFW due to audio hilarity.

Brokeback to the Future

Now I need to burn my Back To The Future DVDs.

Friday Morning Delight

Remember the days of intestinal fortitude, Pearl Harbor attacks and shots to the esophagus.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Oldie Out Of The Z Hall Of Fame

Nothing beats bleeding to death via genitals.

Weird: I'm Not Even A Libra

Aren't We All Looking For Freedom?

Hopefully this will get you through the rest of the day.

My Birthday Is Only 8 Months Away!

I'M LIKE THE WHITE HOUSE

A Little Something For The Ladies

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

A temporary fix for all you forlorn Chappelle fans.

Who Let The Bulls Out?

100% Badass

He is what Willis was talking about.

Who Said Jerry Can't Multitask

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I Leave You With This

Good night and good riddance.

Han Solo Meet Dan Solo

Truth vs. Non-Truth

Respect!

Underated Episode

Chucka Chucka Chucka

F'n Genius. Ford Taurus. Skin so porous.

What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkins Lost His Car Keys?

Scratch n Spin

Phat with an F.

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" Valentines-

For that "special" someone.

Riding with Ron

This guy is still a stud.

For JeffB: Call of the Wintermoon

I Am Born To Roam

Bob Saget tells his rendition of the Aristocrats joke.

Can't wait to see this movie.

Chowder and Outercourse Anyone?

The Godfather Of Tard

Sharply Trimmed, Man-Pleasin' Rubber Boots

ChimpFu

For ROL.

Today I Shall Have Only One Drink!

via Miskell...

Monday, January 30, 2006

Z's Dinner Tonight

He's not going anywhere. Not if I can help it.

ME LOVE YOU SHORT TIME

The King Is Going Off!

Instant bathrobe classic.

Amen

Too bad they don't have 4XL.

All You Need In A Tech Job

Works for emails, conference calls etc.

Beer For Dogs! Share a beer with your best friend!

Perfect for the recovering alcoholic canine.

Down Cobra

This guy puts the um in dumbass.

Akis - The World Champion!

Check out his video. He's nutty.

WTF from Taiwan

I promise you will be much dumberer after watching this.

The Ultimate Showdown

If you be a dork.

File Under: Next Christmas

Do they include drugs in the job description?

Garbage Day!!

Um...yeah.

No Honeymoon For You!

Works For Beer Guts As Well

UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR!

What a wookie!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Revisited...File Under: End Of The World

Steven Seagal now can add “Energy Drink formulator” to a list of talents that already includes veteran actor, singer/songwriter, guitarist, and Aikido black belt. Maintaining an unrelenting schedule that would tire younger entrepreneurs, the 54-year-old Seagal has just completed two movies, “Into the Sun” and “Submerged.” His album, Songs from the Crystal Cave, released earlier this year, has already hit the pop charts in Europe.

THE REIGN OF EL SERPENTO!

He Ain't Going Away.

At least not on my watch.

Finally A Shirt To Express My Inner Self

Yacht Rock #1

For O'Keefe

Them Good 'Ol Boys Are Bad

All Dukes All Day

No Steve Not Pie, Pi

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Jowly McJiggles Is Not An Appropriate Nickname For The New Intern

So remember: It's okay to make fun of the foreign janitorial staff, but not the fragile, young, fat intern. She may save your life in the event of a large flood or when it starts raining cupcakes made of poison.

And this is at IHOP. Weird.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Pole Dancer

Straight outta Cornell, stupid motherfucker named Wing Tard.

Chris Porn's Profile

A strong player in the taint, I mean paint.

Irony

So gay.

Crazy Sh*t

I drink alot and piss people off. Then I go home and eat alot and pass out.

Ha Ha

Seriously Abby, get a life.

Snare Diddy!

Watch him beat it like a champ.

Let There Be Wings!

Its All About The BRAT

I found this by chance, not by need.

Fetch a Beer

Will this work for a wife?

Its Not Winger Its Wing

Come on. She sings AC/DC!

See Last Post

Tell you the truth, the truck is, uh, you know, the most important thing for me. I... I don't really... it doesn't matter if I, uh, become the champion or anything. That's, that's not the most important... I... I need this truck.

When Mullets Attack!

I agree the music is a bit over the top, but not like the movie.

Wouldn't You?

For the MG crew especially Randy and Jeff.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hank

For Marino.

Rap Dictionary

For all your hip hop slang. Boo ya!

Citizen's Self-Arrest Form

Only in Georgia. I enter a plea of retarded.

What Cha Gonna Do?

When you bounce a check to the Hulkster?

Welcome to RejectionLine.com

17 times and counting.

The Most Complete and Most Useless Collection of Pick-Up Lines

Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

Cattle Prod The Oyster Ditch, With The Lap Rocket,

Baby Got Acoustic Back

Grabowski

Cousin of Grabassery!

Johnson Co. Skeet Range

The Best Cyber Sex

NSFW but funny as hell.

Its The End Of The World As We Know It.

F'n Disney.

StinkyMeat - Back From The Dead

Or at least the archives.

In Case You Were Wondering

Just like a Dumfart...

Wax On Wax HOFF

The most fun I've had outta prison.

Breaking Everything

Obviously they saw Karate Kid II.

Owned By Balls!

Ball 2 Face.

I Am A True Gamer

They aren't the quarterbacks of the hockey team.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sweet Wallpaper

Thank me later.

Finally, No More Crackne

T-Shirts now available.

2 Days Away

Get ready.

If You Are Wondering What To Get Me For Arbor Day

Upset the head...

Steve, Don't Eat It

In case you are hungry...for something disgusting.

FUCK this website

File under why didn't I think of that.

WTF?

Awesome Awesome

Old games rule.

MANties

Be afraid, be very afraid.

One Loc'd Out Asian

Sex Ed For Tards...Err I Mean Trainables

A 70's training film for people who need to teach sex ed. classess to the mentally disabled.

The Human Equine

Um disturbing. I can never ride a horse again.

French Poop Machine

Add three ingredients and watch out. Four years of
French not wasted on me.

I Hate When That Happens.

The System Is Down

No raving today.

I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives

How is it that I can waste 45 minutes with this thing?
Because its friggin awesome.
When you are done with that waste the rest of the 2 hours here.
Remember, "Don't concentrate on the finger".

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Saddle Rash, Chub Rub

Finally some answers for my swamp ass eternal.

Big Ring, Little Wrestlers

High budget entertainment.

The Duke of URL

More like the Duke of Tard

Expert In Web Design

My Biggest Competitor.

Audi-oh.com

Sound In - Pleasure Out - Retardation Everywhere

Confucius Say, Top 100

Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts

College Dayz

Watermelon Pleasure

Sex is for FAGS! - Boys Abstinence-Only Education Coolness Program

Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers.

Genius

My prostiture costume is freshly laundered.

It's Settled...

I'm moving to China. Just imagine the freedom.

Asinine

A couple sausages short of a BBQ.

Bubb Rub and Lil Sis

Oldie But Goodie. Its that woo woo!

Zelda Rap

This was me at my 8th grade dance.

DIY Indoor Pool

This would be sweet.

Do Not Call 213-805-0561

Seriously, dont.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The underrated Panda Style

Karate For Christ

Kicking ass in the name of the Lord.

Potato Gun Nut Shot

Title says it all. This makes Jackass seem like child's play.

Beware Of The Card In The Melon

Highly skilled, totally useless.

Unnecessary Censorship

Kimmel via O'Keefe

Why Would Anyone Bid On This

Long Live The King!

The King is on fire!

Just Clownin'

Got Constipation?

This Guy Really Seems To Care, About What I Have No Idea

Design annual reports in my buckhead apartment

Um, Let's Take A Picture Over There

Try looking around jackasses!

Moustached Muscle - The Gallery

This is for the one and only Don Dalpe.

Indifference

Story of my life.

THE "BRIEF SAFE" - AKA Shit Safe

even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them.

Dickhead Personified

Friggin embarrassing dude. Seriously.

There Is A God

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.

Self Nut Punch

It Hurts So Good

Join The Sasquatch Militia

Are you an able-bodied Sasquatch aged 10 to 150 who loves his or her country?

Nintendo Cartoon Hour

A little nostalgia on a rainy Monday morning.

Funny But No Lazy Sunday

Roundhouse kick, death hold grip, moustached lip...tender kiss

Friday, January 20, 2006

Motherload

Highly Addictive

University of Nigeria - World Leaders of Ethical Business Studies

Creators of Advanced Fee Methodology

Life Used To Be So Simple

You could dance and strut wherever you wanted.

Damn It Mom

Little Ricky knows not what he does.

Good Luck Buddy

I realize there is someone for everyone. Hopefully there is a girl who "like alliance no horde". WTF?

World's Worst Album Covers

This site is Grabassery personified.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

For All You Adventurers That Want To Run With The Bulls

F That

The Kid From Brooklyn

Check out the vids and remember, "the big man loves ya".

Available In 7 Shocking Colors!

Fit For A King - File Under Ridonkulous

The musical chime "Le Bon Roi Dagobert", with a voice reciting the Musset poem, starts when you raise the lid and a bell is coupled with the flush, making a visit to the bathroom an unforgettable experience.

Any Idea Where I Can Get A Hat?

Perfect for the winter months.

Man Swan

Wait for it.

Sleep Tight With The Hoff

Never gets old.

Do You Want 2 CDs?

Its back and better than ever.

This Baffles Even I

I don't get this "Product Placement" one bit.
This is coming from a guy who played Itchy Bonkers in a movie
called Ball In The Family #581

Confucious Say: Elevators Smell Different For Midgets.

Before Napoleon

There was this guy.

He's Got Skills

Finger that is.

I Do, I Do

Do you yearn to be the life of the party, the person that everyone wants to hang out with? Is being the center of attention your deepest desire?

Stop Midget On Midget Crime

There are no small crimes, only small criminals.

Finally A Superhero Movie For The Rest Of Us

An epic 'tail' of forbidden love...

Chuck Norris on the Tony Danza Show

Time waits for no man unless that man is Chuck Norris.

How Bout A Hot Carl

That's called "I wanna rock yer body"

If You Have About 5 Hours To Kill

Top 50 Music Videos Of 2005.
Starts on Dec 27th Post.
First one scared the crap outta me.

Don't Do It

Seriously, dont.

Brilliant!!!!

Gotta love Beantown.

Nothing Says Breakfast...

Like Ground Meat

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

This Dude Has Way Too Much Time

All Alf All Day!

The Great Cornholio

Taking it back to the old school, cos I'm an old fool that's so cool.

Capricorn or Pisces

Take your pick freaks.

I've Won Several Times.

Hand this out at meetings. It'll make you a star.

Wanna Be Z's Friend For Life?

Be a man! Track 9 is all you need.

To Quote A Review:

"After years of hard work and dedication in the wrestling business, Macho Man Randy Savage proves that today's modern man is a multi-tasker. Be A Man combines soothing lyrics to hip beats and creates an aural experience never heard before. He shows his versatility in songs such as Be A Man, where he aggressively "disses" rival Hulk Hogan, and songs like A Perfect Friend, where his tender side is revealed in a ballad-like eulogy to his fallen ally in the squared circle, Kurt Hennig. I give the album three thumbs up and hope that you all can enjoy it as much as I did."

WTF?

Snap into a 50 cent.

Football For You Losers

This guy needs a beating. Some of you tards like him.

Don't Deny It

Ass in face.

It's All About The Tom Toms

This dude really seems to care. About what I have no idea.

Good Shit

This show sould definitely get more attention.

Gratuitous Hulkster

If you don't like this then it is time to move on.

Stage 1 - Man 0

What a tard, and I mean that.

Don't Be Scared Of The Ass Punch

Seriously, watch out.

So Fat So Funny

Reminds me of me and thats not a good thing.

How To Be A Guido

Yeah Guido Paradise Courtesy of O'Keefe.
But thats not it. He's also in love with this dude.
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?t=322041&page=3&pp=20

Swamp Away!

Nothing worse than monkey butt. Believe me, I know.

No You Are

The brown and yellow color scheme is very underrated

Waste of Time

Strangely addictive much like burritos.

If You Have A Big Thirst...And You're Gay

Never gets old.

Taco Time

Seriously, is the blueberry pancake necessary?

I Owe Thousands

Same Crazy Japanese Girl Now With Seal On Head

Too bad there is glass separating them.

The Beast

Played Football at University of Washington.
Played Football for the Bears and Vikings.
Kicks major ass for a living.

Crazy Japanese Chicks With Meat On Forehead

This aint no Geiko Gecko.

My Early Morning Gift To Bachelors Everywhere

You ever wonder how they fit 20lbs of laundry into that tiny bag?

This Is One Way To Fish

I said, "Fish Get In The Boat".

Name A Country

Seriously folks.

The Pain Train Is Coming

I know, I know.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Know When To Hold Em'

Oldie but goodie. I'm not afraid.

If You Don't Know Now You Know Jigga

The Baddest Mother In Strongbadia!

Funny Asians

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Just like Robster Craws.

Get Back To Your Ghetto Darkside

Its all about the darkside.

What choo talkin bout assface

Likely story.

Send A Card To Someone You Love / Hate

These cards are sure to get you shot / fired / raped.....enjoy

Unleash the Animal

Turnbuckles Anyone?

You Are What You Drink

This site is chock full of goodness.

Beavison and Buttheadson

Even funnier in Japanese.

Three Finger No Look

This has given me years of enjoyment. Don't feel guilty.

Now Here Is The Funky Shit

Looks like my 8th grade dance.

1-800-555-HONK-E

The Honkey Hump

You've Been Kicked In The Nuts

How can I get on this show? As the kicker that is.

For Educational Purposes

Please check out the video section for some quality entertainment.

Hmmm

If you like to draw and you like balls you may be gay.

This Dude Makes Houseparty 2 look like Houseparty 3

Rippin Ritchie = WTF?

You Are Going To Get It Down

Makes me want to grab an axe right now.

Step Up And Get Smacked By A Pastry

Tourettes Without Regrets straight out of Oaktown

This Shit Is Bananas

An ancient art lost on today's youth (NSFW).

This will waste a good two hours

This guy is a freak. Nothing more to be said.

Welcome

This blog will allow you into the warped mind of the man they call Z. I have no talent per se, but am an expert in aggregating the tons of crap that floats past my screen on a daily basis. Since I'm sick of emailing my golden nuggets around this crazy thing called the World Wide Web I shall now publish them here. Good luck and good bye.